You want some help when it comes to your painful sex life.

You’ve tried all sorts of approaches to help you to ‘just relax’ and move (?push) through intimacy even though your body is sending off other signals that none of this feels right or good or even remotely pleasurable. Problem is, where on Earth do even start when your body is saying ‘no’ and your mind and soul are in complete overwhelm. The easiest thing to do is shutdown…

But that’s not going to help you get to where you want to be.

In my 7 years of being a sexologist, I’ve successfully helped a number of women move through an inability to experience penetration - some of whom are in long term marriages and relationships. Penetrative intercourse has not been possible due to an overly tight pelvic floor - commonly referred to as vaginismus - where the pelvic floor goes into a state of contraction and spasming in anticipation of vaginal penetration.

At the heart of it, vaginismus is a form of self-protection mode that the body instinctively undertakes when it is in fear and is never all in someones head. Repeat: never.

Moving through contraction and vaginismus so that the pelvic floor can relax and subsequent pain is reduced is a multi-pronged approach best assisted by a pelvic floor physiotherapist and a qualified sex therapist. I suggest utilising both of us as our expertise shines a light on different angles of the human body and experience.

But there are obviously moments where neither myself as a sex therapist or a physiotherapist are going to actually BE there in the moment of sex and intimacy. Because that would be awkward and perhaps over-stepping some boundaries.

That’s where a product like the Ohnut steps in.

What is the Ohnut?

The Ohnut is 4 stackable rings made of the softest and stretchiest medical grade silicone that a penetrating partner can wear to allow for gradual insertion into a receptive partner. They can be used on a penis, fingers or a dildo/sex toy. The Ohnut adopts the safest and most realistic approach to sex and penetration when there is pain and discomfort - the wading into the waters approach, which creates more long-lasting outcomes than pushing through the pain.

So if you're one of the 80% of women who experience painful sex in your lifetime then this could be an incredible tool to facilitate your power, comfort and pleasure. (Hint: use my special code LAUREN7)

With the Ohnut, penetration happens on your terms and your level of readiness. You are at the centre of the experience, which is what is necessary when it’s your body better entered.

As the person receiving penetration, the Ohnut allows you to stay focused on how it feels and what your levels of comfort are. And it might not happen straight away but hopefully, you can then start to feel present with any pleasure that is happening as you are in less anticipation of the pain that could happen when you don’t feel in control of the pace, depth and speed.

You can feel less anxious with the Ohnut because full penetration isn’t possible unless you want it to be. As the receiver, you are always in control, which is not how partner sex has historically happened. When it comes to using it…

The more rings are on the penetrating partner or object, the more shallow the penetration.

The less rings on the penetrating partner or object, the deeper the penetration.

Wonderfully, penetrating partners aren’t forgotten with the Ohnut - they love and appreciate it too! If your partner has a cock, the Ohnut has the potential to provide new levels of sensation as the rings fit snuggly around their shaft. So even though there may be 3 rings on and the depth of penetration isn’t that deep, they are still experiencing a gentle grip on their cock and before you ask, don’t worry, they won’t be ‘too big’. When I say the Ohnut stretches, what I mean is it s t r e t c h e s !!

Just want to get the Ohnut? Use my special code LAUREN7 when you use this link: http://bit.ly/2Ob467x

Is the Ohnut actually any good?

The short answer is yes. The Ohnut is very good as a tool in your painful intimacy toolkit. The secret to its success is the way it empowers the users - in particular, the person who is experiencing the pain. Any approach to gently opening up to the possibility of being sexual when you are feeling inhibited always has a better chance of working and being sustainable when you take a series of smaller steps.

With the Ohnut, you are in control and decide when you are ready to incrementally adjust to receiving penetration and at what level. It encourages you to be present with your body as each occasion of sex and intimacy can be different because you’re not the same every day of your life or hormonally - menstrual cycle or no menstrual cycle.

Do you need 2 rings tonight or do you feel ready for 1 ring?

Are you thinking that it has been a little while and you need to start with 3 rings tonight; even though you have successfully used 2?

It’s adaptable nature is what makes it effective. You make it work with you - it’s not a product that makes you conform to it and that’s where so many approaches to vaginismus and an overly tight pelvic floor have been unsuccessful.

People who experience pain often feel powerless and the Ohnut changes this by ensuring that they feel empowered and have a choice.

Just want to get the Ohnut? Use my special code LAUREN7 when you use this link: http://bit.ly/2Ob467x

Are there any cons to using the Ohnut?

The Ohnut is a wonderful tool that supplements other skills that you learn when working with a sex therapist and pelvic floor physiotherapist. When you use the Ohnut, you’ll still need to know what breathwork can enhance or inhibit your approach, how to help your body to open, how to create a new mindset, communication skills and how to navigate your emotions.

When it comes to vaginismus and painful intimacy, it’s rare that one tool alone will work in isolation. You’ll feel more confident if you have a toolkit and it will take the pressure off the Ohnut being the thing that ‘cures’ your anxiety and pain within intimacy.

I have a bit to say about the Ohnut so if you have experienced vaginismus, an overly tight pelvic floor or any other form of resistance to penetration, then watch my quick video review to get a feel for it.

Lauren xo

**Please know that as an affiliate for Ohnut, I may receive a small commission should you choose to purchase through the link above. After 7 years of being a sexologist, this is the only product I have ever endorsed because it helps and it works.